


unplanning a heist

by pathogenesis



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, minor heist content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:02:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29694069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pathogenesis/pseuds/pathogenesis
Summary: Brainstorm and Whirl do not plan a heist.
Relationships: Brainstorm & Whirl (Transformers)
Kudos: 19





	unplanning a heist

Whirl isn't sure about this. 

Not the "breaking in" part, obviously, he's done that probably, like, thousands of times. Breaking in: solid, strong experience, A+. 

"I dunno... you wanna break into the building and then just... stand around and use their stuff? Can't you make it yourself?"

" _Can_ I make a quantum-capable mass spectrometer? I think we all know the answer to that question—" 

Whirl continues to look at him blankly, causing a flicker of uncertainty as to whether they _do_ in fact all know the answer to that question. Which is, frankly, unacceptable.

"—it's 'yes'," Brainstorm clarifies for him, waving one hand at the breadth of his vast and chaotically jumbled workshop, where he invents, like, mostly war crimes and, hey! maybe also quantum-culpable mess spankometers or whatever. "Yes, I can. But why should I have to when there's one right here?"

"What's a quantum whatsit even do?" Whirl wonders aloud. Not that he's _strictly_ opposed. Theft and property damage, great, put your collective claws together for theft and property damage! But, like, specific and targeted property damage... and then stopping and hanging around while Brainstorm steals the quantum-capable mass spectrometer... it all sounds an awful lot like _work_.

Whirl has lots of other things to do that aren't work. He could be needling Cyclonus into a thunderous, frothing rage, you know? He's a busy guy.

"Even if I explained it, you could never possibly—" Brainstorm starts loftily. And then he stops. 

Squints at Whirl. Two of his wings tick upwards, and finally, he spins his screwdriver like a baton between his fingers and says: "...What do you _want_ it to do?"

There's a pause. 

Whirl's single golden optic curves into a happy little crescent. He slings one spindly arm over Brainstorm's neck and gets in real close. "Now you're asking the right questions!"

This doesn't actually answer his question. Brainstorm leans back slightly so his own optics can still focus on Whirl's. 

"Pffft, binocular vision," Whirl scoffs, and then he shoves his face in even closer, until the rim that protects his optic lens smacks into Brainstorm's mask. 

Good. Yes. Tremendously helpful. Very... Whirl.

"I'm so glad you asked," Whirl says, in his most gleeful tone. It is ominous. Even more ominously, he chooses not to answer: "Let's leave that loose, huh?"

His claw pats the sharp edge of Brainstorm's wing. Clank, clank. "Let's go break in and steal a quantum-balance massacre."

"—capable mass spectrometer," Brainstorm says. 

"Yeah!" 

He is ninety eight per cent sure that Whirl knows exactly what it's called and is getting it wrong to rile him, but then there's the two percent, and his use of 'massacre' as an alternative seems... 

Actually, Brainstorm has unleashed much worse things on society than this.

This? Brainstorm could cause this much damage in his sleep, while tied up and blackout drunk.

"Actually, I've unleashed much worse things on society than this," he says, processor-to-mouth filter disengaged.

"I'm gonna take that as a challenge," Whirl warns him, which gives Brainstorm a second to picture Whirl's usual after-action reports, which are... inspired. Usually. "Let's go!"

He's out the door before Brainstorm even starts moving, long spindly legs carrying him awkwardly but incredibly fast. He clicks his claws and laughs ominously to himself, and Brainstorm can hear someone in the corridor thump into the wall just in their rush to get out of his way. 

It'll be fine, Brainstorm decides. Probably. Initially.

"Hey," he says, hastening to catch up, "It's illegal to fly in their airspace." 

"Sweet," says Whirl, immediately transforming to take off. "We should be real careful about that."

The sound of helicopter rotors ripping through the air fills the area immediately.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! :3


End file.
